Thanks for this list – it’s very useful and I can definitely see Mum in some of it. You smell like Drama and a Headache please get away from me shirt. I can think of a few of her love-bombing techniques – or simply better treatment because she’s in a good mood – for example, she will promise me my favorite take-out if I go & see her at the weekend. Or she’ll buy me a present out of the blue (she hasn’t done that for ages, mind you) – a couple of years ago she & Nstep-dad turned up at my door with a set of garden chairs & a table they had bought me to go outside my front door – I didn’t really need it & certainly hadn’t asked for it. Years ago, they bought me a second-hand sofa they had seen & told me about, which I had expressly asked them not to, which was very annoying – they just turned up with it & it wouldn’t go through the door so they had to take it away again lol!
You smell like Drama and a Headache please get away from me.
The thing with love-bombing is that it can sometimes be hard to recognize it. You smell like Drama and a Headache please get away from me shirt. It LOOKS like real affection. It’s the type of thing that people who love you would do for you just to make you happy…. except they aren’t doing it to make you happy. They’re doing it to bribe you, keep you complacent, and strengthen your feelings of guilt and obligation for “owing” them for being so “nice” to you. A gift given in earnest has no strings attached. A lovebomb gift has strings attached, it isn’t free. Neat, I didn’t even know there were WWI submarine movies. I’ll be adding that one to my watch-list next time my wife is away for an evening.
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It might even make MORE work for you or be something you don’t need or want. You smell like Drama and a Headache please get away from me shirt. If they REALLY care about you, they’d say, “I want to help you. What do you need me, As I understand it, the cycle of abuse doesn’t have to be tightly timed. It’s more that there it goes through better and worse times. Basically, the idea is that no one would stay if it was always awful right from the start. So the good times are the release valve on the pressure that the abuse creates. Think about this. Nobody is abusive 100% of the time. Even Hitler was nice to Eva Braun. The fact that she has occasionally behaved appropriately (because your mother should do nice things for you) doesn’t mean that she’s not an abuser.
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You aren’t getting her into trouble, you are getting yourself out of trouble that SHE created. You smell like Drama and a Headache please get away from me shirt. She is making herself look good by making you look feeble and unable to make your own decisions. She is such a good mother. Well, apparently not. Sending you a HUGE cyber hug for taking back some control of your life. You Rock. I see your comment so often about how you don’t see things (such as a cycle of abuse). It is really hard to see this sort of thing when it is what you are living. You have taken a huge step today. Please follow your consultant’s suggestion of contacting the adult safeguarding team. It isn’t about getting your mum in trouble, it is about setting you up to succeed.