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All night long, you hear rapid-response codes and cardiac arrest codes being called; it’s pretty unnerving, and it wears on you. Lately they’ve started playing snippets of Alicia Keys singing “New York State of Mind” when somebody’s being released from the Never Underestimate An Old Man With A Sailboat Who Was Born In October Shirt also I will do this hospital after recovering, and it’s a very welcome change in the soundtrack.
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One night, as I came into my shift, I was briefed about one of the Never Underestimate An Old Man With A Sailboat Who Was Born In October Shirt also I will do this patients I’d be responsible for that night: “She’s not going to make it through the night,” I was told, “so just be prepared for that.” When the time came, my preceptor and I started getting all the supplies together—the toe tags and body bags and the paperwork and whatnot—and then the doctor came to read the EKG and verify that the patient was dead. After it was all done, my nurse said, “Okay, now we’ve gotta go hop on this next…” and I had to say, “Look, I need a minute.” I took myself into a back room and just kind of caught my breath and had some water. I was alright. I’d helped with other patients who’d passed away before, but this was a lady that I had been helping that night and had watched struggle with breathing—she had kept knocking off her mask, and I kept going in to replace it. I needed a minute to collect myself.