Your reaction at the end is totally on point and probably should have come earlier, really. Official Girl some grandmas play bingo real grandmas drink wine shirt. But I understand that is a hard situation. The DM should have been more forceful in stopping those kinds of antics, but as a new DM that can be hard. Story-wise everything you mentioned sounded great (outside what the problem played did) and I think the DM would have flourished had you not had those problem players. I encourage you to try to play once again but have sure you have gathered the right group
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(I have been successful in this endeavor) and have yourself a great game. When I first started DM’ing, I told players that the game probably wasn’t for them. Started off with like 8, went down to 3, still going pretty strong. The hardest thing to do is ask people not to come back for a new DM. Usually, I would never recommend turning on your party. But the moment the guards started attacking Dee and Dum, I would have fought on their side. If players responded appropriately to these wastes of genetic material this sub wouldn’t exist. Letting yourself get walked over for some bullshit desire for cohesion/inclusion is the cornerstone of every one of these horror stories. Yup, this is the rare, genuine use for “it’s what my character would do”. If they’re so determined to make themselves the enemy of the party, let them. With all the consequences that entail.
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He ended up not being able to make our games anymore thanks to school, which is probably for the better. He’s young, and I think a bit on the spectrum, so he tended to make some pretty rash/edgy decisions and then have trouble understanding that it was causing problems for the party. Hopefully, he can find some friends or something and start a more casual game where murderhoboing and general shenanigans are more acceptable by the party and DM. Being on the spectrum is an explanation but no excuse. People with autism and the likes are usually absolutely capable of learning what is inappropriate and what isn’t and act accordingly even if they don’t really get the reasons behind it. Being on the spectrum and being a cockmongrel are not mutually exclusive.
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And yes, some of the autistic people I’ve known have been the absolute most polite and caring people you could know. Official Girl some grandmas play bingo real grandmas drink wine shirt. And if they ever thought they were causing distress because they hadn’t picked up on something, they’d straight up ask. Just because you don’t innately understand non-verbal signals doesn’t mean you can’t with effort and good will learn to work with people. I’d pick someone who has a hard time understanding but tries over someone who understands but doesn’t care any day.