Hey man, cool story. Besides a good Flamingo Apparently we’re trouble when we are together who knew shirt, it was also a blast to read. Your style gives a kind of Peter Watts vibe to it, it’s great, feels and flows very naturally. Does it really sit in that grampa vibe? Don’t know, don’t care. Here are some of my thoughts that I think are valid as internet literary criticism (keyword being internet). The humor is excellent wherever it’s nonchalant (in tune with the style), but feels just a bit forced at times (killed it with a fucking flamingo quote).
Flamingo Apparently we’re trouble when we are together who knew shirt, ladies tee, tank top, and v-neck
Also, the ending feels just a bit cheap with the Flamingo Apparently we’re trouble when we are together who knew shirt I was insane the whole time and dreamt it all up”. Wouldn’t it be better to just end it at the point where the three of them escape? Sam’s death feels just a tad too close to being tacked on for pulling at the heartstrings. What do you think? I agree it was important to show that the creep spreads, but maybe there could’ve been a more elegant solution (in terms of narrative) I hope you don’t take these words as discouraging I really had to scrape together stuff that could be improved, because it’s quite great overall I only hope it can help you write more and write even better stories in the future. Can’t wait for those. Wish you a wonderful day!
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Holy shit, I’m late to the game but that is absolutely fantastic writing. It’s been a long time since I’ve been this creeped out and actually scared. Every single moment they were in the house I was on edge, brilliant details and a creative and horrifying monster. Bravo. Im a YouTuber and I Love your story is it ok that I use this story for my channel it’s called the nightmare reader if you want to check it out. t took me around Flamingo Apparently we’re trouble when we are together who knew shirt of each to get the book to drop, so going unlucky is possible. I’m not quite sure what’s up with the drops though so I can’t really help beyond that. Which island type drops the most driftwood? I’m guessing large, but would it be efficient to spend chimes on those as opposed to small or med? Every time you go back to your saved island, new random spawns will be on the surface (the red dots, skilling nodes, etc will be constant). So, if you return, you have a chance of getting more driftwood, yes.